bliss warrior

5 hours until the Rock of Love Finale...and I can hardly wait.

Jess or Heather? Which hoochie mama will he choose?

I have never had a green thumb. I try, I really try to keep plants and flowers alive but it seems to not be my gig. However, I am hopeful that I can tend a psychic garden. As I continue to read Women Who Run With The Wolves, I am learning so much about all that is out there. I know it sounds so simply put, but it is so simple. It is all right before us, we just can't always see it.

We have a psychic garden, a garden that calls out to us to nurish our wild psyche. We must water and feed and protect our garden just as we would a garden in the earth. Whatever can happen to a earth garden can also happen to a psychic garden. We can water it too much or too little, there can be a heatwave or a freeze. A storm can roll in and flood our garden, a drought can dry it up. Our garden can be invaded, invaded by pests. We can help things to grow and allow things to die. We plant and we bury. Through our garden we see the coming of life and the coming of death and we act accordingly. It recently occured to me that this is working with the flow of nature and the universe. This process is natural. When we work against the flow of the universe we are doing something that is not natural, therefore we find ourselves with troubles and hardships.

In earlier posts I have written about death and explained it is not a subject I visit often. With a recent death in the family, I have come full circle with my feelings about death. Again, it is so simple a concept - death is a natural process, it is a part of the flow of the universe, death is a part of life. Of course we miss the physical aspect of the person that has died, but that is such a small part of who they were, who they are. For so many years I have been pushing against the natural flow of the universe when death has paid a visit to my life. Going forward, I will embrace this part of the process, I will celebrate the physical life the person lived and I will look forward to a new level of connection, a new type of relationship, with the spirit they become.

Welcome Fall, so glad you are here. Missed you and your energy. Good things always mainfest when you are in town. I hope you stay awhile.

try this fun game. it can be hard at times, but don't give up.

if you don't want a hint stop reading.

one hint to get you started - click on the blossoms on the cactus.

Death in the family--we are leaving for Michigan.

I don't do death. I can't talk about it. I won't write about it today.

He was 34 and leaves behind on this earth a beautiful wife and two precious young children.

Your warm healing thoughts would be welcome.

Jessica

I was going through some photos and came across one of my favorites. This was about two years ago. It is my favorite picture of my husband and stepson. They look so cool, relaxed and totally into eachother. This was a very good day.

This is Alabama, (also known as Bama and Crazy Bitch) she helped me clean today. She likes to grab the duster, run through the house and then shake it until she is dizzy. Samantha, my other four legged soul mate, snoozed under the coffee table. 

Today, I cleaned house, really cleaned house. The kind of cleaning that makes you sweat, encourages you to pull out the step ladder to get those shelves and tops of pictures with the duster. The kind of cleaning where you actually move furniture and clean behind it and under it, baseboards too.  

As a  teenager my mom and I fought constantly about cleaning. It was always my job to dust and vacuum and I despised it. Now, I love it. Cleaning my home gives me a sense of pride and honor. I am so proud of this home we have made for ourselves. The way it looks, smells and feels...it is our sanctuary, a place that is sacred. Incense is burning as I type, to honor this place that brings us so much joy.

Fall is definitely in the air here...a cool breeze wraps around you as you walk outside in the mornings and in the evenings. We fired up the chiminea the other night and the smell of pinon really cemented the sense of Fall on its way. After cleaning, I put out Fall decorations  around the house and hung the Fall wreath. Mom will say I am a little early but she will understand my excitement, she is the same way. I can hardly wait to decorate the porch with pumpkins, leaves and mums and bake pumpkin spice bread from Williams-Sonoma. The aroma from the bread fills the house with warmth, love and the anticipation of the holidays. This is my favorite time of year and I am very grateful it is almost here. I have known all year that around October all things will have settled, we will be on our way to a more balanced life and positive energy will start flowing. I was right.

Dear Universe,

I am humbled by your all encompassing love, omniscient power and sheer coolness. On this evening of a new moon and lunar eclipse, I feel especially connected and inspired. For so long I have kept my desires, wants and needs to myself, afraid of sounding selfish or needy. I now realize that we can't sit around complaining about what we don't have in our lives if we don't ask for it to begin with. So tonight, as you stir your caldron of wishes, hopes and desires of my fellow beings I think I will throw in a few of my own for good measure.

My intentions are as follows:

I want you to know that I can be trusted with vast amounts of money -- I will not only use this money to better myself and my family's lives, but I will use it towards the greater good of the world. Please show me my path to greater joy and success, I am ready to do the work I was intended.

I can be trusted with people's hearts -- I will build my fellow man up and not tear them down, I will encourage and inspire and not degrade or ridicule. I have an infinite amount of love to give and the capacity to accept love.

I desire good health for myself and my loved ones -- because when we are in good health and good spirits we can do more for others that need our help, we can make good things happen.

I wish for a baby -- a baby to help make this world more beautiful. A baby to add laughter to our atmosphere. A baby that radiates our love for eachother. I will teach this being to be grateful and kind and to trust in you always.

I wish that you will help my husband find his truest path -- not only because he deserves this, but because he yearns to do good for the world. His soul desire is to help people and give them hope. Please show him the path where his talents can be used and please open the doors that will lead him on this great journey.

I desire to be filled with forgiveness and grace -- I want to be able to forgive those that have hurt me in the past and be able to embrace those that aren't so kind with my heart in the future.

I want you to know that whatever I do, I do for the greater good. I am conscious about my thoughts, words and intentions. I make mistakes, I get angry, I lose faith but I always return to you.

Thank you for the gift of my husband and his unconditional love and support. Thank you for my mother, the kindest most beautiful soul this universe has seen in a long time. Thank you for my beautiful home- my sanctuary, my safe place that soothes my soul. Thank you for the past few months -- the time to rest, rejuvenate and connect with so many kindred spirits. Thank you for all the trials and tribulations that have been put in my path, for they have shown me an inner strength I had no idea existed.

This morning when I arrived to teach a computer class to a group of 3 and 4 year olds I got spooked.

As I walk in and say good morning, Kathryn (3, very close to 4 as she likes to say) asks me, "where is Francesca?" My heart stopped, my eyes became as large as fishbowls and words couldn't come out of my mouth. The other teacher looked at me, looked at Kathryn and then asked me, "who is Francesca?" I couldn't very well tell her that Francesca is the name we really really love for a girl and that I am super freaked out by this kid because there is not one child or adult named Francesca in this building and I never spoke the name much less sat down with Kathryn over tea and told her that we are considering naming our unborn, unconceived child Francesca. So of course, I lied. "Well, I have no idea. We don't have a Francesca here so I don't know." When I asked Kathryn who Francesca was she just smiled, twisting her arms and hands in her lap all pretzel-like with her shoulders squeezed up close to her precious pierced ears and replied, "Francesca! You know who Francesca is!"

I was 100% freak-a-fied. I smiled my teacher smile and said, "Okaaaaay."

Maybe I am reading too much into this, maybe I am self absorbed (hope not, I can't stand that in others) and baby crazy, maybe all this connecting with the Universe and light and love is taking me on a magic carpet ride. I don't know. All I do know is that I was freaked out of my ever lovin' mind. I also thought it was super cool.